Please be reminded; any names of people portrayed in this series are altered to protect their identities.
It wasn’t long before I’d dusted myself off and left Johnny in my past. At that time, many of us spent our lunch-hour in the basement by the band room. Few people aside from our group ever came down there, so we designated it as ‘our turf.’ One of our group that had been around well before Johnny and I met had always stood out in my perspective; I always did have a thing for blue eyes, after all. His name was Felix. I had strong feelings towards him, but I didn’t suspect those feelings were returned.
One night, however, our group had gathered at my house to relax and watch Disney movies. We’d tossed in The Lion King and he and I had gone from sitting together on the couch, to hesitantly cuddling upright until we were lying side-by-side as he held me close to him. I gathered up to gall to turn and face him and just enjoyed the silent moment. Here comes the cheesy part; as the movie progressed, the classic ‘Can You Feel the Love Tonight?’ song started playing. Before I knew it, we were making out. From there, we just kind of took off. I will give him this, he was a very good kisser.
We spent most of our time cuddling, but I’d done the same thing I did in my previous relationship and tried to give him what he wanted before I was ready. While we never did sleep together, I recall doing other things with him that I’m not necessarily proud of. It wasn’t long before that got around and everyone in our group knew all about it. From there, everyone outside our group knew, and quite possibly their dogs were whispering about it, too. Bottom-line, a lot of people didn’t see me in the same light anymore, but I didn’t care. I was with him, and whatever made him happy would surely bring me happiness too.
All but three months later, Valentine’s Day was upon us, but I’d noticed he was acting a little distant during the previous days. February 13th crept around the corner and we were chatting over MSN messenger that night when he’d told me he had just tried to get back together with his ex-girlfriend, who had turned him down regardless. Mutually, we decided to go our separate ways, but I recall feeling a wave of pain like I had not felt with Johnny.
I continued to stay in the same place our group always did, but weeks later, he was in a serious relationship with an adorable girl in our group. I remember them being obnoxiously lovey-dovey whenever they were together, but that is, perhaps simply because I was very sensitive to it at the time. Still, I remember people looking over to me, waiting for me to react, and whispering amongst each other in discomfort. It didn’t take long before I stopped joining them there. I began my habit of wandering. I didn’t care where; I would simply walk around and about, dreaming of an escape from the handful of friends I had left behind.
To be continued…